


Imperial Evangelion

by DarcyIncarnate



Category: Digitalia's Digital Wonderland
Genre: :), Crack, Gen, Hero!Sketch, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Kinda, Show this to Kae and Die, Villian!Kae, darling show this to kae and i will physically fight someone, dont try this at home kiddies, guys dont even dont do it, neither kae nor sketch possess a braincell and it shows, social construct being used as a trap, wasted taxpayer dollars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-05-14
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:47:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24188401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarcyIncarnate/pseuds/DarcyIncarnate
Summary: "Surender! You won't be able to escape!" Said Sketch.And then Kae did.-Alternatively, the relationship between a woman and a child with an unnatural affinity towards general mayhem.
Relationships: Kae & Sketch
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4
Collections: Digitalta’s Fics





	Imperial Evangelion

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to the lovely Fifi for letting me post your wonderful amazing work! ur amazing love youu

It was a fairly normal afternoon for Kae.

A flaming piece of rock flew past her, streaking only inches away from her face. While taking a step to the right to avoid another piece of burning rubble, she mentally went through her grocery list.

"Avocados, Milk, Potassium Chlorite, Nitrogen," She muttered to herself.

"Stop, Villian! You're holding technology that could end civilization as we know it!" The superhero cried out, launching another boulder at her face.

"Well, then why the fuck did they invent it?" Kae called back over her shoulder. That line was so cliche. She wasn't even a villain. She just borrowed some illegal technology. And sometimes forgot to return it.

Kae shifted the compact nuclear reactor on her back. The hero gained on her. She smirked.

Spinning around, she pulled out her plasma gun and shot it a couple of times at the approaching Hero, stirring up all the dust around them and tearing up a bit more of the sidewalk that they had been chucking at her.

"Surender! You won't be able to escape!" 

It seemed like this little Hero didn't care all that much about taxpayer dollars, people paid for that sidewalk, Kae thought forlornly as the hero continued throwing chunks of it without a care in the world. Sharply twisting into a nearby alleyway, she easily lost the Hero in the maze of twisting and turning narrow roads. Sometimes it was convenient having a friend in the Mafia to show you around. 

"I won't be able to escape huh?" Kae muttered, checking behind herself for the fourth time.

After taking a few false turns just in case the Hero somehow managed to track her, Kae turned towards her apartment building. So long Hero, nice try, she thought to herself, entering her comfortable little apartment. 

By the time she sat down with her laptop that night, she had already all but forgotten about the hero entirely.

-

But as life would have it, said hero did not extend her the same courtesy. When she entered her workroom, (It's not a fucking evil lair Ani) she was rather caught off guard to see a very small figure standing in the middle of the room, holding up one of the little projects that she had been tinkering with.

With not even a second of hesitation, she pulled a remote out of her back pocket and clicked a button. The floor fell out from under the very short person's feet, and they began to plummet down to the shark-infested water below. (Ani designed it, not her) With that taken care of, Kae prepared to go finish up one of her projects, and maybe get a little work done on her manuscript. 

She turned away from the hole in the middle of her floor, and standing right in front of her, she found the same very short person who she had just dropped into a hole of death. Shit.

Clicking another button, Kae slowly backed away as she used the remote to adjust a few settings before releasing the button that held up the cage. She watched as it dented the ground upon impact. The thick, heavy-duty carbon fiber held up pretty well, all things considered. Not many things could hold back a super-powered vigilante continuously punching the same spot indefinitely. Satisfied with that security measure, Kae continued with her day, paying very little mind to the little hero yelling profanity at her through the glass.

-

Two hours later, and the loud clank against her carbon fiber cage showed no signs of stopping. Kae put in some noise-canceling headphones, nodding along to the beat of her music as she continued studying some blueprints.

-

Three hours later, and Kae pulled off her headphones. 

_"CLANK!"_

She put them back on.

-

Four hours later and Kae was concerned for her poor cage. She had worked very hard on that thank you, but with the constant abuse to it, it might actually get a scratch. Her poor baby.

-

A full six hours later, and finally, there was peace.

"Are you done now?" Kae asked, glancing at the completely exhausted hero lying flat on the ground. 

"You really should eat something you know," Predictably, the hero didn't respond. Sighing, Kae clicked the lift button on her remote. 

Nothing. They didn't move.

Kae took a step forward.

And just like that, they bolted up and launched at her. A sneaky tactic, but they were still pretty weak. Kae sidestepped, and the hero ran themself headfirst back into the cage they had been previously trapped in.

"You sure you're gonna make it home okay?" She asked, watching as they rubbed at their head.

"I'll be fine," They sulked, clearly not content with their total and absolute loss. What a waste of a good Sunday, if they had a life outside of being a general bother.

"Better luck next time!" Kae called cheerily, fully expecting there never to be a next time.

-

And perhaps, in retrospect, her belief that the universe was not specifically out to get her was exactly what ended up jinxing her. Because of course fate would keep sending the same hero after her constantly.

Of fucking course.

-

The next morning upon opening the door to her workspace, instead of having the luxury of being able to just step inside like a normal person, she was met with a flying tackle from behind her, pinning her arms to the floor. Well, it was a good thing she was wearing her current suit today. She touched her middle and index finger together. The hero looked on in utter confusion. 

"Are you trying to troll me?" They asked. And not even a moment later, the electricity it had been collecting discharged, causing a powerful enough shock to throw the hero out through a wall. 

As they flew out into the oncoming traffic Kae yelled as loud as she could behind them.

"Gottem!" 

The glare she received from the air-born hero was scathing enough to keep her smiling for the rest of the day.

-

Her victory was short-lived, however, for it was less than two days later before the hero returned, with a renewed sense of anger, and proceeded to show Kae with a very educational and hands-on display on exactly what it felt like to be chucked out of a window headfirst. 

"Yeet!"

-

When Sketch entered Kae's lab that morning, they noticed a small welcome mat sitting right in front of the entrance, 'please wipe off your shoes,' it read. That seemed fair, seeing as it must take a lot of work to clean up after them every time they barged in with no regard for the state of the floors. Seeing no harm in doing so, (also being compelled by their anxiety of being a burden) Sketch took the time to wipe their shoes off on the mat. 

"Haha! You've fallen for my trap!" Sure enough. they looked down too late, the mat had already grown too big and engulfed both of their feet, they could feel the mat slowly growing up the sides of her ankles.

"Oh my god, what are you? A cartoon villain?" Sketch snipped, attempting (and failing) to move their legs.

"Well, everyone has a villain they look up to, and for me, it just so happens to be Dr. Doofenshmirtz,"

Sketch groaned. 

-

Sketch sulked, crosslegged where they sat trapped under a modified laundry basket. This really was one of Kae's most degrading traps. But they had to endure it. Just long enough for her to go on and blab about whatever her next evil plan would be.

"Now, I would tell you what my evil scheme is, but that would be stupid,"

It was going to be a long day.

-

"-And then she said snakes were gross!" 

"She did what!?" 

"I know, like who would work at a pet shop with that large of an aversion to animals?"

"Karens are dumb, Kae,"

-

The workspace was lit only by a small lamp in the corner of the room, and papers lay scattered across the various surfaces. The time was 2:30 in the morning. 

"Ahudda I have _got_ to finish this chapter or my editor will kill me," Kae groaned, swirling the red wine that filled half her glass. Faintly, she could almost make out the sound of a gun being fired through the phone.

"I'm sure you can finish by tomorrow morning if you wake up on time," A loud whoosh, and the click of heels filtered through the phone. "You said you were almost done, and it's only due by eight, isn't it?" Ahudda's voice came out a tad airy as she spoke. 

"Well I was almost done, yes, but this hero, he keeps barging in while I'm working! Or maybe She actually- I never asked for their pronouns now that I think about it,"

"I go by they/them," The hero said, kicking in her window. Glass scattered about the room. "Prepare to be taken down once and for all!"

"Oh, thank you. I'll remember that. And I spend so much time making traps for them too-" 

-

"You should know by now that you're not gonna be able to break that carbon fiberglass, you might as well give up," Kae chuckled at the hero's fruitless attempts at breaking out.

"Well I don't have much of a choice but to try, thanks to you," they said, clearly salty about their position. "I have a test in Chemistry today, and if I miss it I'm dead," They continued their onslaught against the glass.

Kae stopped, staring at the hero currently trapped in the glass in the middle of her workshop. _Holy shit._

"You're a high schooler?" Suddenly it all made sense, how they seldom attacked in the middle of the day, and their short stature and slightly higher voice. Of fucking course, they were a high schooler. She had just assumed they had a job or something.

"What is that an issue?" Kae wheezed. Oh my god, she had been fighting a high schooler. She had almost dropped a CHILD in shark-infested water, hell she had _thrown them out a wall oh, fuck-_

"You good?" The hero asked. _No, she was not._

"Does that mean you missed lunch?" She managed to say instead.

"Yes?" The hero said, beginning to be confused. Kae turned around, opening the cabinet with the fridge. "What do heroes eat anyway?" She mumbled to herself.

"Ham," They answered with no hesitation. Kae stared. They stared back. 

"Alrighty then," Kae pulled some out of her fridge. Heros were weird.

-

That night, as Kae lay in bed staring at the ceiling contemplating exactly how many times she had almost murdered a child, or thrown a toddler through a wall, or blasted them with a whole ass fucking plasma gun, or dropped them in shark-infested waters, she decided that maybe some changes were in order for her lab.

-

When Sketch approached Kae's workshop door, she noticed a package outside her door. Figuring it would be rude to just leave it there when they were going in anyway, they picked it up before kicking her door in. Kae glanced up from her newest death ray, smirking.

Uh oh.

Sketch figured exactly what was so funny as they attempted to set down the box, and found that it had somehow managed to stick to their hands and the floor, leaving them in an awkward squat right next to the door.

"Good luck getting out of that one!" Kae snickered at her own genius. Sketch rolled out their eyes. "Anyway, look at what I just finished~" Kae all but bounced over to her newest random doomsday device. "I haven't tested it yet, but if it works correctly, it should be able to reanimate the dead! I came up with most of it last night, so I don't currently have any updated blueprints, but-" Sketch slipped out of their gloves, and promptly crushed the device between their two hands.

"We don't need a fucking zombie apocalypse right now Kae, the worlds already pretty much gone to shit,"

"...Okay so maybe that wasn't my most thought out project,"

-

When Sketch bust down the door to Kaes lab that relatively normal Saturday morning, they felt pretty ready to deal with whatever bullshit the other would have plotted up for them to shut down. Instead, they found a ridiculous number of empty coffee mugs. 

The entire room was turned completely upsidedown, the contrast from its usual somewhat organized chaos to its current state had Sketch reeling. Papers littered every free surface in sight, including some rather precarious positions on abandoned projects. The only still lit light was a small candle that looked as though it would go out any second. And amongst the hurricane of paper and mugs, Kae lay, out cold and sprawled across the floor with her hands still on the keyboard of her laptop.

Sketch crept into the room quietly, taking care not to move any of the papers and collecting a few of the mugs in riskier positions.

After dropping the mugs in question into the sink, they snatched the throw blanket off the couch, and delicately draped the blanket over Kae.

"I'll see myself out," They whispered to no one in particular, reattaching the door to the hinges. "Night, Kae."

-

Sketch bobbed their head to the music in their headphones, shifting their backpack as they continued down on the road home. Thoughtlessly, they glanced into the window of their favorite coffee shop, only to do a double-take at Kae sitting a small booth, meddling with some most likely illegal type of technology. 

Oh no.

They sprinted into the shop.

"Kae!" They said, pointing and gasping a bit for air. Kae just blinked back at them. They would _not_ let their favorite coffee shop get blown up.

"Can I help you?" Kae asked, tilting her head. Like that ass had the right to act confused.

"No! Evil! Technology!" They cried out. This was not difficult to understand, they were a _hero_ , they weren't gonna just sit on their laurels while Kae blew up another office building she claimed was ugly.

(Just because she was right about them being ugly didn't mean she was right about blowing them up)

"Well, I don't see what you think you can do about it," Kae smirked. "After all, you're trapped." Sketch rolled their eyes.

"Trapped by what exact-" 

"Excuse me," 

Sketch winced as a hand made contact with their shoulder. They turned to face the waiter who had finally decided to interfere with the mess Sketch must have been causing in the establishment. He glared, very obviously at them.

"I'm going to have to ask you to sit down or leave the store, thank you," Sketch shivered under his intense, unpleasant stare.

"Y-Yeah of course, sorry about that," Sketch rushed out, sitting precariously across from Kae in the small booth.

Seemingly satisfied with their compliance for the moment, the waiter disappeared back behind the bar. Sketch let out a breath, slumping in the plush seating.

"Trapped by social construct~" And Kae had the audacity to look pleased with herself. Huffing, they lazily flipped her off while rummaging around in their backpack for their folder. 

"Wait- what are you doing?" Kae eyed the folder as if she thought it would blow up. Who did Kae take them for? Herself?

"Well, since I was obviously an inconvenience it would be really rude for me to leave without ordering anything, and if I'm stuck here, I might as well get some shit done," After another moment of attempting to blow up Sketch"s folder with her mind, Kae relented. 

"Wow, I didn't know you could be responsible," said the snarky asshat.

"Kae I fight crime, you blow shit up for fun. Don't talk to me about responsible,"

"Hey! I have an actual job, the blowing shit up thing is more of a hobby," 

-

"Kae do you know anything about Quadratic formula? Not gonna lie I completely forgot everything about it,"

"... are you asking me for help with your math homework,"

"Bitch what does it sound like, you've graduated college,"

"You're asking your supervillain rival for help with your math homework,"

"..."

"Fine, just lemme see the question,"

-

Sketch kicked down the door. They had their Dr. Pepper and were ready to kick ass and take names. Not even Kae could stop them now. The door clattered down with a satisfying crash.

And right before they could enter the room, another took its place. 

"The fuck?" They muttered under their breath, staring at the door that had shot down from the door frame. Last time they checked, doors didn't do that. They kicked the door in again.

And once again, before they could even step forward, it was replaced.

They tried again.

And again.

"Kae what the ever-loving _FUCK_ is this bullshit!" Kae's only response was to snicker as She gazed admiringly at her sleek little contraption. There were enough doors loaded into that thing that it went over the rails of her balcony, and she had a robot to assemble more of them if need be.

This is what Sketch got for destroying her god damn door instead of just, you know, knocking like a normal person.

-

The sun was setting, the streets were wet, and Kae wanted to go fucking home.

"I swear to god, they set me up with this new editor while Jen's on vacation and I fucking despise this shitty bastard, Ani you have no idea," Kae didn't wait to hear the others thoughts before continuing with her rant. 

"He's always trying to get me to write 'light-hearted stories that families can enjoy' bitch what the fuck about my writing does he see as 'light-hearted'? It's supposed to be _thought-provoking_ and _intense,_ not fucking 'light-hearted', who the fuck does this son of a bitch think he is anyway?" Ani hummed. 

"You should blow it up,"

"He wants me to write a poem. About cupcakes. Cupcakes Ani. And he's so fucking sexist it hurts. If he tells me one more time to write about 'something you know, like romance," I'm gonna smack his stupid fucking mustache off." Kae huffed, resisting the childish urge to stomp her foot.

The urge only got stronger after Ani pointedly didn't respond for a full two minutes.

"Were you listening to any of that?" She asked, rolling her eyes.

"Sorry, texting Sketch, uh, a kid I somehow managed to befriend. Although they don't act nearly as much like a kid now," Ani chuckled. "Maybe I should ask if they wanna work with me."

Kae gapped, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk. She could feel the water beginning to soak her hair. 

"Hold on, back up, you know Sketch?" She had now been standing still long enough that other pedestrians had begun walking around her. 

"Hold on, _you know sketch?"_ Ani echoed back.

"Huh, small world I guess," Kae muttered, continuing on her way home. Her sweater was all wet now, that was annoying.

"I guess it is," Ani laughed.

In the end, it turned out that Kae was the only one out of her friends that didn't already know Sketch.

-

Sketch busted down the door to Kae's workshop, proudly dawning their new hero suit.

"Kae! Kae! look at my costume~"

Kae turned, only to be blinded by the sudden invasion of her senses. Sketch's outfit was in a word, atrocious. 

The crime against fashion was a bright yellow pair of jeans with a clashing shade of yellow sweater. It had less than subtle accents of neon pink and orange in odd placements, bringing the overall horror level up to an 11 in Kaes mind. Just _looking_ at that monstrosity caused her physical pain.

Kae picked up her blow torch. Her eyes were blazing.

"I will burn that, with or without you in it,"

-

It was around twelve in the afternoon when Kae finally succumbed to the constant ringing from her phone and got up.

"What the hell do you want this early in the morning?" She grumbled, wiping at her heavy eyes.

"Soo, it's Ani's birthday next week," Kae groaned.

"Sketch, point, _now please,_ "

"I still have to go shopping for them, and well I was wondering if you could maybe..." They trailed off. Kae could almost see the puppy dog eyes they were making.

"Fine okay whatever, I'll reschedule the death ray,"

"Really? Thanks so much!"

"Yeah whatever, night," Kae didn't wait for a response before hanging up and rolling over, falling back asleep almost instantly.

-

Kae might have rescheduled, but the universe still had its ways of ruining Sketch's plans.

-

Sketch stared at the text.

'Sorry, everyone! A new drug cartel just started making a move, and they're apparently a bit of an issue right now, so I'm heading in to shut them down tomorrow. Please do family dinner without me!'

They stared at it some more. Slowly, they picked up their phone.

"Kae, we're gonna go bust a drug cartel,"

-

The night was cool, the day before Ani's birthday. The clouds covered the stars and the new moon was completely invisible. Their cover was perfect. Kae adjusted her goggles, double-checking the building they were in front of. 

"It's too well maintained to be abandoned, and yet that's what everyone says about it,"

"A bunch of kids from my school say they apparently meet their dealer like an alley away from here," Sketch chimed. "This better be the right place, I got pulled for like four drug tests because of this." After a moment without a response, they glanced at Kae.

"Kae-"

"Shh," I think someone's leaving the building, Kae whispered harshly, shoving them down into the bush. Before they could protest, the soft sound of footsteps filled their ears. From the sound of it, there were five or six of them in combat boots. They felt something tap their shoulder and whirled around to face Kae.

"Two- four, I got your six," Sketch nodded.

Silently, they made their way out from behind the bush.

-

Kae stood back, watching as Sketch crept towards the six heavily armored men. Step by step, they didn't make as much as a squeak, not that they would have even noticed if they had.

The group of men seemed to be in their 30's or so, most likely dropouts that got into some trouble while in school. From the looks of it, they weren't very bright either, their armor was clunky and obvious. They seemed to be bodyguards for someone, but they weren't taking the job very seriously if the fact that they were laughing boisterously and two of them were holding flasks of (presumably) alcohol was any indication.

"Tim you won't believe this one, and so- oh shut up, so this bitch walks up with her pussy ass boyfriend and goes- this shit is hilarious, 'Oh please don't hurt us, we'll have the money by next week!' all snotty an' shit, and tha' pussy shit of a man is hiddin behind her, honestly shudda offered her a job or sum shit, a man that ain't fuckin chicken shit woulda been better for her, she wasn't ugly either if ya know what I mean,"

And out of what seemed like nowhere, Sketch shot down from behind him, kicking him squarely in the head on their way down. Before she could even blink, they had knocked down another three, stabbing them with the tranquilizer darts they probably swiped from her.

Seeing her cue, she shot up from her place in the bushes. She shot down the last two before they could even scream.

"Yay! we got em!" Sketch punched the air, jumping higher than they should be able to. Kae chuckled.

"We haven't won yet, we still gotta round up whoever the fuck they work for, remember?"

"Yeah yeah, just help me search the bastards okay?"

Sketch patted down the armor of the tallest bodyguard she had taken down. The one who had been talking, they were pretty sure. He was a dick.

They managed to pull off a gun and an ID from all the men there, before tying them up. 

"That should be everything right?" Sketch asked, finishing up their last knot.

"Looks like it, it's too bad that they didn't have any maps or phones on the-"

"Hey Tom, Tom come in," A static voice startled them out of their conversation.

"Come on Tom, this isn't the time to be playing around," The voice growled. "Listen, you son of a bitch, the boss wants your team here right now, down in the left-wing, third floor, room 38, you know the drill. Come on, you lazy bastard," The voice grumbled some vulgar choice words before the static stopped. The two glanced at each other. Finally, Kae spoke.

"Guess we're heading up,"

-

It turned out that the group that had been guarding the bottom floor was the same one they just took out, so they didn't have any problems getting into the building. The challenge was how exactly they were going to get up from there.

upon entering the building it became apparent that there were a couple of ways they could go, the first being a dingy looking elevator. It seemed like a pretty obvious direction, so for the moment Kae ruled it out. The second was a well-worn stairwell, also predictable, but with a slightly less likelihood of having the two of them getting trapped in it. 

"You know, I could probably head butt a hole in the ceiling," Sketch noted, conversationally.

And just like that, she had a plan.

-

Kae crouched from where she sat in the ceiling of the elevator. She was in a bit of a precarious position, as she would be crushed to death if someone called the elevator to the top floor before she was ready. She fiddled a bit with the elevator and managed to attach her device to it before it started to move again. She dropped back into the cabin, ready for what she was sure to be a fight.

"Ding," The elevator chimed, revealing her to four burly looking men.

"Who the fuck are-" Kae watched as the grate above him dented and slammed right into Burly Bitch's head with a loud clank. He dropped like a marionette with its strings cut off. The two other guards twisted in response. It was barely a second later that Kae found herself facing utter chaos. A small body flung violently through the opening, feet first, slamming the entirety of their body weight into the guard to the right of the one who laid passed out on the ground in front of Kae.

Snapping out of her momentary shock, she swiftly pat down the guard and collected his gun and ID before tying him up securely. Unfortunately, his friend didn't like that much, as he made a motion as if he was attempting to grab her. Unfortunately for him, Sketch's foot collided with his face before he even got close. 

"You set it up in the elevator?" Sketch asked, digging their heel into the face of the man they just took down.

"Yup, we're good to go," Her grin was all teeth.

-

For all intents and purposes, traveling through vents was both convenient and smart. It made sense when they could both fit inside with Kae only needing to bend a little, and the ventilation system ran all through the building.

That didn't make it less annoying. Kae shivered as yet another draft of cold air ruffled her thin black sweatshirt. She did her best to keep her footsteps light, as she followed the previously agreed on path towards the stairwell that'd lead to the third floor. 

By the time she arrived at the vent cover above the stairwell, she was all but completely frozen. She didn't know how, but the air in that cursed vent somehow managed to freeze over her already cold dead heart.

She didn't hesitate to kick out the vent cover, giving no fucks when the resulting sound echoed in the empty hallway.

She glanced around. She was already late, so where was Sketch?

"Over there!" And suddenly she was regretting her thoughtless aggression towards the poor grate. Karma was a bitch, she supposed.

Kae spun around, taking up a defensive stance against the three guards that had intercepted her. Sketch would be there any second anyway, so there wasn't a reason to panic yet, she reassured herself.

"Alright girlie," One of the men said, his voice thick and rough. (Probably a smoker, if Kae had to guess.) "You ready for a fight?" He cracked his much larger, scared, knuckles threateningly.

Kae bared her teeth, staring him straight in the eyes.

"Nope," And she promptly turned and sprinted. They had guns on them, and she was not dealing with a fucking gunshot wound today, Ani would have murdered her at dinner.

Somewhat frantically, she skidded around a corner, not breaking her stride as she fished around through the numerous pouches she had lining her body. Finally, she found what she was looking for. Her Potassium Nitrate mix. She ripped the pouch of her inner thigh and chucked it at the ground a couple feet behind her. 

She just barely managed to round the next corner before the whole thing exploded with a loud pop and a lot of smoke. Probably nothing new for Mr. Lung Cancer over there though. She silently hoped they were disoriented enough that she could lose them. 

Ducking into a nearby room, she quietly called Sketch through her earpiece. 

"Kid, where the hell are you? Could have really used some back up a second ago," She seethed through the mic.

"Sorry, I found something though! It's important okay!" Kae rolled her eyes.

"Fine, what the fucks so important," This one better be fucking good. 

"Okay, okay, okay," Sketch muttered, before raising their voice. "So I found the security office for this building, and I just peeked in to snatch the building plans, but I also found something super interesting on it, so I went ahead to check it out-"

"Sketch-"

"No, hold on, there is no room number 38!" Kae paused, staring at the clock in front of her incredulously. 

"What? Then where the fuck is our boss bitch?" Kae asked, rubbing at her temples. 

"That's the interesting bit! So there's this weird space between room 37 and room 1, and I think it's some kind of secret room or something," Sketch related. They whispered, even though there wasn't anyone around to hear either of them.

"Okay? But how are we supposed to get in there?" A million ideas ran through Kae's head. There had to be a way she could get in without causing a commotion, maybe if they came in through a window?

"We could punch a few holes in the wall till we could fit through," Sketch suggested unabashedly.

"In what universe would you find that subtle?" 

"Who the hell said we needed to be subtle?" They shot back.

Well, Kae wasn't great at going the subtle route anyway.

-

Ducking out of the room she was hiding in, Kae crept towards the stairs to the third floor. 

She was about halfway there when she started hearing terrified screams coming from the direction she was going. Ah, so sketch had arrived. Figuring there was no point in creeping around if Sketch was already fighting people, Kae pulled out her gun and charged in. 

"Hey ugly!" She yelled, aiming her tranq gun with terrifying accuracy. Neanderthal number two turned to face her. 

"Huhhhhh?" He twisted his face into an ugly sneer. "What'd you s-" The dart nailed him directly in the middle of his forehead. He fell like a sack of bricks.

"There you are!" Sketch groaned, roundhouse kicking some random dude in the face. Kae shot him down while he was dazed.

"I got the shit," She grinned. "You ready to blow this joint?"

"Hell yeah!" Sketch responded, pumping their fist. That was all Kae needed to hear before ripping off another one of her pouches and lighting it on fire. Chucking it at the remaining idiots, they both made a dash for the stairwell. Right as Sketch yanked the door shut behind them, a loud explosion rattled the door. 

"Ah yes, the sweet sweet sound of arson," Kae sighed before following Sketch in ascending the staircase. 

Following Sketch in a fight was almost like following a brick wall, in some ways. Anyone who ran at them ended up sprawled a few feet backward most likely with some kind of head trauma, not even a full second after making contact with them. It was actually pretty convenient for Kae, as she found herself with ample time to produce a few more bombs to attach to her belt as she ran.

It wasn't even a full five minutes before the two found themselves standing at the top floor of the building. 

"Kay, so according to the map I was reading, Mr. Drug Person should be right between those two doors." Sketch strolled over to the wall in question. They cracked their knuckles, studying the wall for a moment before suddenly pulling back and punching clean through it. 

Kae just barely kept herself from jumping. Of course, she had punched through her fair share of plaster, that wasn't particularly shocking to her at this point. No, what startled her was the fact that after punching a hole straight through the wall, upon pulling their fist out of the crushed plaster, the entire rest of the wall proceeded to collapse in on itself from the shock wave from the punch. 

That was certainly new. 

After the dust cleared from the decimated wall, Kae found herself facing a group of people sitting around a round table. It seemed as though they were in a meeting of some kind, one that they had very much just interrupted. The group stared back at her intensely, almost as if they could make her and the damage that Sketch caused vanish just by glaring harshly enough. 

Sketch gave them a little wave. "Uh, sorry to interrupt?" clearly, their glaring strategy didn't seem to be working too well. 

The awkward silence permeated the room. This was very much not the epic climax that she had been expecting. 

Vaguely, she realized that perhaps, she should say something.

"Uh, stop drug cartel-ing, or I'll throw a super-powered teenager at you," The eloquence of someone who was quite literally being paid for her writing could truly be astounding at times.

The man sitting at the head of the table did not seem impressed. He smoothed some invisible wrinkles on his dark charcoal suit before standing and snapping his fingers. 

"Get rid of them," he said, waving his hand in a physical representation of his boredom. Kae was mildly offended by the action. After they had come all that way too. 

Immediately at his command, men popped up from variously unlikely locations around the room, all of them armed heavily with artillery that Kae would really prefer that they pull out of her face. She could have sworn that the one to her right had popped out from behind a fake house plant. 

Between all 25ish of the bodyguard like people currently surrounding them, she counted 46 possible ways that she could be shot in just that moment. Time moved in slow motion as she tried to think her way out of this impossibly hopeless situation. 

Finally, she put her hands up in a surrendering motion. Of course, this couldn't be that easy if Ani needed to deal with it. She sighed to herself. It looks like they were doing this the hard way. 

"Alrighty Sketch, guess we're going to plan B. How high can you jump?"

"Plan B? I-I mean pretty damn high I guess," They said giving Kae a rather incredulous _there was a plan B?_ sort of look. Kae ignored it, tearing off her belt and lighting the end of it in one fluid motion. Before any of the guards had a chance to react, she grabbed Sketch. 

"It's plan B for _Boom,_ hurry up and jump!" And just like that, she was flying up around six stories in the sky and clinging on to Sketch for dear life. Just as she felt as though she might get used to feeling her heart being bodily torn from her chest, the explosion from what used to be the building shot them even higher. 

Wonderfull.

Despite the altitude and the fact that the air around her seemed to be doing everything physically possible to keep out of her lungs, Kae did, in fact, manage to pull the parashot before the two of them ended up just as decimated as the building they had just evacuated. 

They landed hard in a park close to where Kae lived, Sketch alone managed to take out three trees before hitting the ground. 

They were battered, bruised, tired, and ended up only barely winning because they just set everything on fire. And yet, neither could find it in themselves to be upset with the outcome. 

When she finally managed to regain her breath, the first thing she did was smile at the smokey stain on the road that was the remains of the building. A little arson was good for the soul, after all. Now all she had to focus on doing was getting Sketch home in time so that neither of them would be late for the party the next day. 

That kid was so lucky that Kae was there to help them out. 

She blatantly ignored the fact that it was in fact Sketch, helping them home.

-

(And if the pair smelled mildly like smoke, or if there was clearly drywall under their nails the next day. no one mentioned it.)

**Author's Note:**

> heyooo! if you have made it this far! thanks so much for reading! hope you liked it! 
> 
> (Alternatively, if you are Kae, I apologize but you can most definitely not look at me and say that you have more brain cells then I have portrayed you having.)


End file.
